Friday... At noon we went to North Vernon and I prepared myself for a long ass drive to Cleveland because I'm crazy and I got in my car to go to the theater to get my check and a car pulled out in front of me and I was all like "Sir I cannot die I need to be in Cleveland" and then the never-used train tracks by my road were being used by an unnecessarily long train and now I wonder if the car in front of me could see me shouting about how I have to be in Cleveland like right now and then eventually I cashed my check and met up with Damin and we drove many a mile and then got "lost" and Damin was sarcastically "OH GREAT, now we're lost" a hundred times he said this and then I exploded and was like "OMG WE ARE NOT FUCKING LOST OMG WE ARE NOT AAAHHHAHA" and then I ate the directions and Ian and Courtney kept calling like a billion times to tell us we were probably going the wrong way but we weren't and we got there so yeah and then Friday went not at all as planned and we went to some Dave and Buster's place wherein I got tricked again into eating bacon that was hidden on a very bland potato skin and I broke my ID in my hand while I was talking to Lindsay and speaking of her we were supposed to go meet her and we left and everything and then we were on our way and she called and was like "omg just kidding" and I was mad at first but got over it because it wasn't her fault so we went back to D&B's and I lost air hockey to some man I do not know and I threw my hitter across the damn arcade oh my god I have never been more pissed in my life but at least I kicked Courtney's ass and then Damin, Courtney and I left to find a hotel and we discovered a Red Roof Inn with a brown roof on the ??Cracker Basket?? exit and I went in and I asked "Where are we?" and he shouted that I was at West Lake and I don't know if that's necessarily a negative or positive so I'm just like "okay." and I gave Damin $60 and we got a double which for some reason was cheaper than a single and he said the single has a microwave and fridge but I'm not a woman who's easily sold and I asked Courtney why this rug was in this strange area and she said because it was wrinkled and my mind exploded and then we had a pillow fight and bed-jumping party and tried to download porn but apparently failed and Courtney and Damin were pissed because I was on the phone with Lindsay and Courtney knocked me out with a shoe and hid my phone then we took Courtney home and stopped at a gas station because I thought there would be a knockoff of Big Red somewhere but apparently Ohio doesn't believe in red cream soda at all so we returned to the Red Roof Inn where I slept until Saturday morning.
Saturday... Woke up and was immediately forced by Damin to pretend to be Mary Courtney Collins on the phone and seriously act like my mother's maiden name is B-l-a-h Blah and feel like a dumbass and we used toothbrushes with plastic brissles that made my gums bleed then we picked the real Mary up and went to Cici's again and Courtney discovered all you can eat buffet there is $3.99 and was like "Hell yeah" and I laughed for three years and Lindsay called and said she probably wasn't going to see me today even though I am in goddamn land of Cleve which is an extremely rare thing and I wasn't going to let that happen so we arranged for a library meetup later and then Courtney and Damin and myself took a jaunt to the mall downtown and the ramp to the parking area was very high up and above a large body of water and I said "I'm gonna throw up" and Damin was like "Oh she's joking" and then I threw up and then Courtney spent her $50 at Bath and Body Works and then finally I got a message from Lindsay saying where this library was in the middle of nowhere in particular and finally we arrived and I told Courtney I would give her five dollars to smack Lindsay for telling us to turn around and she did but later I got it back because Courtney bet me five dollars that I would be way shy anyway we looked at books and talked but I met Lindsay and it was my favorite part and she was taller than me and then we left and went to Coldstone and I almost threw up again because Courtney and Damin kept talking about semen and then we drove around and Courtney was terrified of the driver's driving and then we dropped her off and went home and I drove the majority of the way and once we got back to North Vernon we stopped at the TB and I eventually threw up again then came home then talked to L-Trob then she said she would call back but lied.
The whole time I was smelling like creme brulee.
Maybe it doesn't sound fun to you but it was okay fun for me and I have no regrets, well maybe one. Now it's Sunday and I'm dead. I'll edit this post probably to include random things that I remember.